Talking about conspiracy theories on the internet is a tricky proposition these days. What used to be a harmless, fun way to joke about outlandish ideas with other terminally Logged On people is now, uh, something different entirely. It doesn’t really hit like it used to.
That’s especially a bummer for Packers fans, because they may in fact have the best running conspiracy in the NFL: Toyotathon Jordan Love. Essentially, the reason that Love starts every season with a bunch of meh performances, only to turn into an apparent All-Pro the second that Toyota’s humungous holiday savings on certified new and pre-owned models kick in. The only thing larger than the savings you’ll find on all of this year’s hottest models during Toyotathon is the Packers’ margins of victory.
But since you can’t really talk about conspiracies on the internet anymore without unintentionally involving the absolute weirdest person you went to high school with, Green Bay fans have had to celebrate in silence. That all ends today, though; Toyotathon Love is no longer just a conspiracy – it’s a scientific phenomenon, based in fact. The stats back it up:
Toyotathon Jordan Love is real and he’s spectacular
Updated Jordan Love career numbers:
Not during Toyotathon:
3,829 yards, 29 TDs, 25 INTsDuring Toyotathon:
3,283 yards, 26 TDs, 2 INTs— Lombardi Ave (@lombardiave) December 16, 2024
I’ve seen enough. Toyotathon takes up only a fraction of the NFL season (close to, like, six weeks) and Love somehow has the same amount of yards as all his other games combined? I’d be more concerned about how good he actually is for the other 60% of the season, but that’s not what this blog is about. This report is about how very real Toyotathon Jordan Love really is. Toyotathon Jordan Love is maybe the best quarterback in football? I don’t hear anyone talking about Toyotathon Jared Goff.
The problem, of course, is that like all good things, Toyotathon comes to an end. The once-in-a-lifetime savings, and stats, disappear in early January. Maybe that won’t matter as much now that the 49ers are almost-certainly not going to be playing postseason football, but it makes me concerned nonetheless. You’d think the Packers have enough pull within the league offices to make a few calls to Toyota? Everyone could benefit from approximately one more month of Toyotathon. Picture yourself in the seat of a brand new 4Runner! Celebrating the Packers’ Super Bowl win! That’s the true power of 0$ down and a competitive APR.
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